“We like the singles to serve dinner, so they get to see what the couples do.” Lynda said to me somewhere around 2003 when they worked at James City Community Church.
i never did serve dinner, but I’ve wanted to do one of their marriage events ever since. And this weekend, that dream came true.
“Yeah, take a picture of the restaurant, don’t take a picture of me.
My honey actually debated with his boss about the merits of a broken leg getting him out of an entire weekend working on our relationship.
But, the leaders, Sam Goins, Myra Goins, Lynda and Mike Cooke will make it an event he thanks God for attending, of that I don’t doubt:-).
Me, I can’t wait to dig in and do some work!
“My favorite love story is ours,” Lynda said to kick off the evening.
Starting at the beginning, she shared how they met the year I was born, 1969, at a youth group gathering. Only fourteen years old, Mike, sixteen, they spent a lot of years with her parents before they got engaged her senior year of highschool and married a year later.
From the birth of their two children, Mike’s call to ministry and onward through years of service to the Lord, and the tragedy that changed their lives forever, they shared their story and invested their lives in the twenty-three couples in attendance.
After a powerful kick-off to the weekend, we headed to our room, enjoying the blessing of the ocean waves pounding the shore, serenading us to sleep.
“The only reason they call it the Pent House is because it’s the 13th floor.” Every time we got in the elevator and pushed “PH” we got asked the same questions, “What’s it like in the Penthouse? Do you have the entire floor?”
No, just like any other floor, similar rooms, but since hotels don’t have thirteen floors because of superstition, they call it the penthouse.
Waking at around 6:00, one look at the clouds told me I wouldn’t get the sunrise I hoped to see. But waiting diligently, blanket over my legs, winter coat around my shoulder, I got the best shots I could.
“I do want to let you know about Freebies,” Luke, the manager, said.
Freebies, free Tesla shuttle service in VA Beach paid for by the taxpayers, sounded interesting. Luke gave us a run down of the local attractions for our free afternoon and evening. Ron had his heart set on golf, Top Golf our choice because of the forty degree weather.
But before we could enjoy our afternoon date, we had some work to do.
“Ok, Lynda, I scored 10 on Phlegmatic, and 9 on Melancholy, but I don’t feel like I’m either of them. Ron scored the same.” Our first session started by learning our personality styles.
After much discussion, Lynda had us do the test for each other. I scored Ron as melancholic/phlegmatic and he scored me as Sanguine/Choleric, much more in line with my personality.
After learning our personality styles, we moved on to communication.
“It’s so funny, all these questions are miserable, but it matches my…”Ron said. Motioning towards the personality assessment, his actions finished his sentence for him. Hubby’s reaction to the questions matched his personality. He often says how his communication skills have increased since marrying me.
Working through communication skills, we came away with tips on listening well, and seeking to understand before being understood. Something Lynda began teaching me long ago.
Listening to my Mike and Lynda share their knowledge on successful communication skills filled my heart with joy. I had heard most of their pointers sometime or another over the years, but having it taught to us in a formal setting impacted me in a fresh way.
After a quick break, we shifted gears and learned conflict resolution skills, something every couple needs.
Mellow Mushroom catered lunch, filling us up and making us sleepy. After a quick nap we headed to Top Golf where Ron won every game. But I got to go to Hobby Lobby afterwards, which makes any crafter happy.
Ron went to Harris Teeter and picked up a rotisserie chicken, while I shopped in Hobby Lobby. With salads as sides, we enjoyed dinner in bed while watching the current PGA golf tourament.
After having wonderful conversations that drew us closer together and an afternoon date, we loved settling in for an early evening.
Up at six again, I enjoyed the sound of the ocean waves, fresh air and bits of pink in the sky as I read my Bible and prayed over the week ahead. Ron’s rhythmic breathing as he slept kept me company.
We spent the morning learning about the Five Love Languages and how to apply them to our marriage. Both of us score highest in physical touch and quality time.
After closing thoughts, the weekend came to an end all too soon. As we packed up our bags and headed out the door, a bit of sadness followed us. Until next time, we will treasure what we learned and use it to make our marriage stronger.